“You will move in the direction of the people you associate with”

— Warren Buffett

Introduction

We all have people in our lives (if you don’t then that means you’re probably dead) that either inspire us or make our guts turn, but one thing is fundamentally true, everyone we interact with influences us on a conscious and subconscious level. Either positively or negatively and a bit of their personality gradually rubs off on us every interaction.

How people subtly influence us

People from all walks of life present different things on the table. No one person is the same even if they claim to be identical to someone else.

As we grew up there were tons and tons of people we interacted with, and we still meet new people every day, but these people whether the cashier at the store or that one guy you always meet jogging in the mornings, leave behind a residual trace of their personality. The cashier was loud and mean, you became conditioned to, upon first interaction with a new cashier at a new store, treat them with some hostility. The man jogging in the morning was always kind and greeted you with a smile, you became conditioned to greet and smile at the people passing you by on the street.

Your friends and family play a huge part in how you interact with the world and how you view life. If your Dad was an entrepreneur, he most probably wasn’t home most of the time and as a result, you didn’t open up to most people because no one was there for you when you were receiving those awards. You learned to keep to yourself and this is the conditioning of absence/lack of interaction with an important figure in your life. In your teens your friends likely invited you to multiple parties to which you either accepted or declined. You either wanted to be like them (wild, free and reckless) or develop yourself as an individual (to which most teens chose the former).

Currently, if your social group is more into doing crazy things in their free time like parting every weekend or actively undertaking in activities that might land them in jail, then you as an individual will be conditioned to see those things only, or if your social group thinks that working a 9 to 5 is the only way to live then there is a good chance you will conform to this way of perceiving life.

In the lives of early humans, if you wanted to survive off the plains of Africa you needed to be in a tribe. You had to think like the tribe to fit in and survive. We as humans still have the same biological mannerisms which make us conform to the thinking of the mob, I mean it’s only natural considering we were running wild only a few thousand years ago.

Pick your friends wisely

Your personality is mostly dictated by your phenotype (your environment) and what you are exposed to becomes what you reflect. So, if you want to achieve the success you had envisioned, you’ll have to watch, meet and talk to successful people. You have to learn as much as you can from them, these people can be found online or at conventions. It is not necessary to talk to the most successful people at first, just talk to people who are in the field you want to become an expert in and “steal” their experiences.

Friends are important parts of our lives, but having friends who are not who you want to be or who are what you want to avoid becoming then, you’ll have to step up and break your relationship in a way that won’t aggravate them into harming you. You can always be busy, tell them you have lots on your plate and it might increase as time goes on or you could start hanging out with a new set of friends. I don’t know why but whenever you enter a new social group, your old social group doesn’t enter the mix. I guess its tribalism on a micro-scale.

Hang out with people that have optimistic mindsets, growth mindsets and people who are dedicated, these people instill the necessities that success requires and they make you think like them, which without a doubt, is what you want.

End

Thanks for reading! I know for a fact you got something interesting from this. Having said that, I trust you’ll revisit next, when we take a look at “Time Management”

If you enjoyed this be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments, like and share. It will mean the world to me.